Tuesday, 30 July 2013
Is it all girls or just mine?
My husband and I have gained a whole new appreciation for our son and what a complete angel he was (and still mostly is). Not that our daughter is not an angel but she is certainly not as compliant and easy going as our son was at her age. Overall she is a pretty good, happy, fun child. There is just a small aspect of her personality that when it rears its head, is a little difficult to deal with! It's partly because we never had to deal with that sort of thing with our son so it is new parenting territory.
She ignores me (or her father) completely when we ask to stop doing something naughty, she ignores us when we ask her to come here after she has run off, she ignores us when we ask her to stay with us when we are participating in a class of some sort and children are supposed to sit or stand with their parents. If we try to make her do one of these things, she gives an ear-piercing scream.
Right now she is still small enough that I can go and retrieve her and pick up if she has run off and won't return but it will be met with screaming and kicking and as she gets bigger, that gets a lot harder to contain. I now understand why some parents seem to ignore their children in public places or in classes. It is easier to ignore them than try to coerce them into doing something they have no intention of even considering! Yet, I am not convinced that is the right parenting path to take.
There are some who would say, my daughter gets this little bit of her personality from her mother and yes, maybe she does. Part of me likes that she has this side to her. It shows her strong will and her determination, good attributes to have. The other part of me, the parenting part of me, struggles with it though. It makes me feel a bit out of control when she refuses to respond to me in certain situations.
It makes me fear for the future as she gets older and even more independent! I worry that she won't listen when I tell her to be careful of the road or something similar that could result in a real risk of something awful happening. My son rides his scooter a lot and stops at every road without fail. Even though he will zoom off ahead, I have no fear that he will cross the road. He knows to stop and wait for us and he does it every time. I don't see my daughter doing the same when she is older and that scares me a little. Some mothers of girls tell me it's a girl thing, their girls display similar attributes. I wonder...
I do want to conclude by saying that I love my daughter to pieces and wouldn't want to change any part of her. She is a very loving little girl and always making us laugh. She adores her big brother. I know we should not compare children and everyone is a unique individual, we would not want it any other way. I simply wish I could do a better job of managing her little bursts of impatience and her spirited side.
Do any of your children show a bit of an unruly side to themselves? How do you cope with those times when they choose to ignore your every word? Has it got easier or harder to deal with as they have got older?