Skip the sippy cup

I have been doing a bit of cleaning out recently (delayed spring cleaning?!). One thing I was pleased to get rid of was the clutter of old baby bottles and beakers/sippy cups at the back of a cupboard. A couple of the cups had never even been used and the couple that had, were only ever used as a regular cup, not with their lids.

With all three of my children, I introduced the Bickiepegs Doidy Cup as soon as I introduced water with weaning/meals. I would begin by holding the cup for them (holding underneath so if and when they wanted to take the handles themselves, they could) and then let them hold it as soon as they wanted to. You can't put a lot of water in it anyway, because of the shape so any spillages were not a big deal.

I don't know about you but finding a cup/beaker that is non-spill for carrying out and about is not as easy as it sounds! I rarely bother taking drinks out with us. I either get a glass of tap water from a cafe or buy a bottle of water that all the children would share. With supervision, my 1-year old drinks from a regular unscrewed water bottle with no problems. When I remember, I will fill up and take out one of our stainless steel water bottles that the children share.

Starting off early with the Bickiepegs Doidy Cup meant that we could then move onto regular cups at home and my youngest handles a regular cup by herself, just needing help setting it back down on the table sometimes.

My advice to those of you with babies: save your money and cupboard space and skip the sippy cup! It also makes life a lot easier when you don't have to think about bringing a certain cup out with you, knowing your child can drink from a regular cup in a restaurant. If your child is the type to make a strong attachment to certain objects, you don't need to worry about them getting upset because you forgot/lost their beloved sippy cup!

What is your experience? Did you move your child onto regular cups quite early on or did you rely on a sippy cup for a while? Did you find a non-spill cup that you and baby both liked?
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Cooking for baby and family

Three years ago I wrote a post about cooking for baby and the rest of the family, with six suggestions of family meals that can be mashed or finally chopped to suit a baby of around 9 months upwards. It is great when they get to the stage of being able to eat a wider variety of foods, can handle a bit of texture and you can cook for the entire family without having to prepare something different for the baby.

My youngest is one now so we have been at this stage for a little while and I was looking back over my old post recently and decided I had another six suggestions to give! 

Soup: anything goes with soup but you can add beans, pasta or grains to make it more substantial. You could also crumble in some cracker/rice cakes/bread into the baby's bowl.

Tacos: these have become a new favourite in the Mummy Zen household. We get the crispy corn taco shells and fill them usually with some kind of black or pinto bean mixture often with a bit of covert veg, finely diced or mashed avocado, sour cream and grated cheese. Baby gets the filling and you could break up bits of taco or give them some softer bread or rice with it.

Shepherds/cottage pie: as a vegetarian, my version of these is with lentil or aduki beans but whatever your main ingredient, the rest is finely chopped veg and mashed potato, so nice and easy for baby to eat or you can even mash it all up further if needed.

Jacket potatoes: popular with many children, simply scoop out the soft potato for baby and mix with your choose of toppings.

Savoury pancakes/fritters: potato pancakes, sweetcorn fritters, or grate carrot, courgette into a batter or anything else you fancy. Make smaller ones for baby to hold (or cut up larger ones), these are a great finger food.

You can see my previous six meal suggestions here.

What are some of your go-to meals to prepare for the family that can be easily adapted to baby?
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Party planning for toddlers

I have done a few birthday parties over recent years, for my son who is approaching age six and my daughter who just had her third birthday. If there is one thing I have learnt, it is that less is more!

For an enjoyable and successful birthday party for little ones, you often need less of everything than you would imagine; less food, less party guests and less activities.

Food - I learnt early on that it is easy to over-cater for birthday parties. Even though I have vastly reduced what I used to prepare, there is still always more than needed! Little ones really do not eat a lot and coupled with the excitement and the promise of cake, they are often too distracted to eat much at a party. Keep it simple too, prepare what you know your child and friends are likely to eat, rather than what looks fancy!

Party guests - for my daughter's third birthday party a couple of weeks ago, we invited just three other little girls. It was her choice. I suggested another couple of people but she said no, she really only wanted these particular three girls, so that is who we invited. I once read or heard somewhere that is is sensible to invite the same number of guests as the child's age. That is what unintentionally happened this time and it was very pleasant! The fewer guests there are, the less stress for the parents, the more time the guests spend with the birthday boy or girl and the more attention they receive.

Activities - whilst you definitely want to plan a few activities for the party, you also don't want to try to cram too much into the time. It can be good to allow some going with the flow too! For my daughter's recent party, we had a couple of small art and craft activities for the children to do on arrival (and something they could later take home with them), which is good for filling the time as you wait for people to get there. Then we played some traditional party games (pass the parcel, musical bumps etc), had lunch and the cake and then finished with a final party game and dance around! It was simple but worked really well.

I will leave you with some other children's birthday party posts you may be interested in reading:
A great party bag alternative
Children's birthday cakes
A winning winter birthday party for a 2-year old

What have you learnt from birthday parties you have had for your young children? What has worked and what hasn't? Any top tips to share?
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Toilet training with child number 2!

As soon as the summer holidays began, one of our priorities was to begin toilet training our two and a half-year old daughter. We had been talking about it a lot with her, went out shopping to choose and buy a child's toilet seat and underwear and had read over and over the book, Princess Polly's Potty.

Our daughter was enthusiastic about the challenge, it helps that she always wants to do what her older brother does, including practical things like this. I decided to get started on a Friday - what was I thinking with three children including a young baby to tend to, alongside toilet training all by myself?! It was a rough start and I felt very disconcerted and began questioning whether she was in fact ready to move out of nappies.

Lamenting of the difficulties I was facing, somebody said to me when they were training their child, although they felt  he was ready, he still needed to have lots of accidents as part of his own learning process. Having successfully gone through the toilet training, I can say with hindsight that her statement is probably true of many children.

The initial accidents really are what helps the child associate (a) with (b) and recognise what they need to do. After the first day, the accidents got fewer and by Monday when we had plans for a day out with friends, my daughter did brilliantly, going when she needed and keeping underwear dry!

My eldest being a boy, I was a bit nervous about being out in public toilets or indeed out in a park or wherever with my daughter. It is so easy for a boy to go out in the open, nicely concealed behind a tree! A friend with two daughters recommended I got a Potette Plus. It's a very compact, easily portable potty or toilet trainer seat and we have used ours lots already, definitely a good purchase.

As for how we went about the toilet training, we followed the same principle as we had done last time with our son. Lots of drinks during the first couple of days, lots of reminding the child to tell you when they need the toilet (rather than asking them if they need it) and lots of positivity! One thing I did differently was to abandon the sticker chart I did last time for my son. I read somewhere recently where a mother felt that the child should just be happy to be able to use the toilet and that in itself should be the reward, not bribing them through stickers, sweet treats, toys or whatever. I thought that was a good point and had kept it at the back of my mind. I did give my daughter stickers for the first few days but didn't make a big deal out of the stickers themselves and soon stopped them.

It has been nearly four weeks since we swapped nappies for knickers and our daughter is doing well. Very occasionally she will be too wrapped up in what she is doing to remember to tell me in time but fortunately I can usually tell when she does need to go, which helps.

Have you gone through the toilet training stage recently with any of your children? Those of you with boys and girls, I would be interested to hear if you had a better or worse experience with one or the other. What is your approach to toilet training and any advice or tips to share?
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Baby makes three!

My baby girl is six weeks old already, how the time has flown! These first few weeks as a family of five have been busy, enjoyable and exhausting. Between family and friends helping out I have felt very well supported and my time managing all three children alone (while husband is at work) has been very limited so far. Lucky me!

Now for a few random musings on these first early weeks with three children:

The sleepless nights have not been so hard to deal with this time. Obviously I've felt very tired some days and wondered how I'll make it through the day on occasions but overall it's not been as horrendous as with the other two. Perhaps realistic expectations better prepared me this time!

The mornings are not a big rush as I'd imagined. One thing I was particularly dreading was getting myself and three children ready and out on time to get my son to school. Turns out when you're up around 5am with the baby, there's plenty of time! I've even managed a shower some days!

I was right about the worst time of the day! The dinner time, bed time witching hour is difficult, as I knew it would be. On the days I've had to put all three to bed by myself it has mostly been a struggle. I console myself with the reminder that it will only get easier. Right?!

It's not easy on the siblings. My 5-year old son who has dealt with a new baby sister once before has seemed pretty ok with the new addition. He was initially very excited, now he mostly ignores her and gets on with whatever he's doing. That's fine by me :-). My 2 1/2 year old daughter though has understandably been more affected. She's very loving towards the baby most of the time, very helpful with nappy changes etc but she herself has become clingy towards me and a bit more withdrawn around other people, which she wasn't at all before. It makes me a bit sad but all I can do is give her lots of love and be patient through this period of adjustment. 

I feel stretched! I felt stretched with two children, always wishing I could find or make more one-on-one time with each child. Now there's an extra child, one who currently demands a lot of me and spending quality time with the older two is tricky. I am doing what I can, trying to do something fun with my two-year old while the baby is napping, spending time with my eldest before he goes to bed when his sisters are already in bed (or sometimes whilst simultaneously rocking the baby to sleep in my arms!).

I feel very fortunate. I look at my three children and am filled with love for them all. The baby is a wonderful addition to our family and I'm so proud of my older two children and how for the most part, they are kind, loving, fun, well-behaved little people. I look at my husband and remember back when we didn't have any children and talked about both wanting three one day and here we are all of a sudden with all three!

For those of you with two or more children, what do you remember from the early weeks juggling everything? Can you relate to any of the above? What do you still find most difficult or most fun at whatever stage you are at now?
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Pregnancy, pillows & sleeping

In this post, I am going to share what helped me get a fair amount of good nights' sleep whilst I was pregnant this third time round. The point comes sooner than you would think in a pregnancy when getting a good night's sleep becomes a challenge. You're supposed to lie on your side, you're getting bigger and heavier, hips start aching, you might be up for several bathroom trips during the night.... There are those that say, it's nature's way of starting to prepare you for the disturbed nights to come but if there is a way to sleep better, I am all for it! Especially moving on to baby number three, I really have no need for preparation for the nights of broken sleep I have got coming. Au contraire!!

I had been complaining about rough nights of sleep to a friend and she kindly dug out her old pregnancy sleeping pillow to lend me. She told me what a miracle it was to her during her pregnancies, how she would take it with her any time they were spending a night elsewhere because it was the only thing that helped her sleep well. I was excited to try it out and experience the blissful night's sleep she had prepared me for.

I'll be honest, the first night I wasn't quite sure which parts of the pillow should go where and just guessed. It didn't seem right though and although I had a decent night's sleep, I felt sure it could be better.  The next day, I searched online for this pillow and how to use it and that night, I tried again, with it in the correct position. I had a terrible night's sleep! I think I gave it one last shot another night but again, it didn't make for a good night's sleep so I returned it to my friend and went back to my own system of a pillow between my knees.

Shortly after that episode, I had started doing some ante-natal pilates. When doing some exercises lying on my side, my instructor would put a cushion in place to support my belly. It really made a difference to the way my weight was positioned on my side so I decided to try the same when sleeping at night.

In addition to my pillow between my knees, I added a small pillow under my bump. It really improved my comfort during the night and I began to sleep better and was waking up with less aches in my hips. So there's my simple tip for better sleeping whilst pregnant - two pillows!

What was your experience of sleeping whilst pregnant? Did you struggle to get comfortable? Did you use any special pregnancy pillow or find any other way to deal with any discomfort?
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This week: planning packed lunches

For the first two weeks of school my son has been there just for the mornings. This week, they stay a bit longer, having lunch there and the following week he will begin full days. We have the option of packed lunches or school dinners. I asked my son which he would prefer and he said he would like to have packed lunches. I was secretly pleased, as I feel that way I will at least know what he is eating and can ensure he has healthy, tasty lunches. The school dinners in fairness look pretty good and varied. My main issue is the puddings...I would never give him such rich, sweet desserts on a daily basis!

Back to the packed lunches! I've been giving them some thought. There are some great blogs and websites out there devoted to the packed lunch and ideas aplenty. My son loves his sandwiches but I want to try to give some variety and I am sure some things will go down better than others. The school specifies we are not to give any sweets, crisps, cake and there is a no-nut policy. My plan for now is to mix and match from the following basic ideas:

Main item
Sandwich
Savoury muffins, flapjacks
Thick tortilla-like omelette/frittata
Quiche
Savoury pancakes / fritters (sweetcorn/potato/courgette)
Pasta/rice/quinoa salad
Mini pie (need to think of options that taste good cold, such as cheese and potato)

Savoury extras
Cheese
Houmous
Crackers/breadsticks
Carrot/cucumber sticks/pepper/sugar snap peas/cherry tomatoes etc
Cheese scone

Dessert / pudding
Fruit
Yoghurt
Homemade cereal/granola bar
Fruit scone
Dropped scones / mini pancakes (plain/blueberry/banana etc)

The above is by no means an exhaustive list but some ideas I have to get started. I have bought some small cool/ice packs and will pop one in my son's lunchbox. This was a suggestion from some other mums who said that the classrooms are kept so warm (during the winter especially) that it's a good idea to have one for keeping cheese/yoghurt etc fresher. I intend on preparing the lunches the night before as much as possible to cut down on added stress in the mornings and to give me plenty of time for getting it ready.

Do you make packed lunches for your children or have you in the past? Any tips you can share or additional ideas of lunchbox favourites?
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Is it all girls or just mine?

 

Everyone always says no two children (siblings) are alike. It's true. Early on when my daughter was under one, it was hard to see big differences. Like my son, she was a good sleeper, eater and quite smiley to random people from about seven months. We could however, see a bit of a fesity element in her that had not been present with our son. Now she is approaching the age of two, the differences are a lot more apparent.

My husband and I have gained a whole new appreciation for our son and what a complete angel he was (and still mostly is). Not that our daughter is not an angel but she is certainly not as compliant and easy going as our son was at her age. Overall she is a pretty good, happy, fun child. There is just a small aspect of her personality that when it rears its head, is a little difficult to deal with! It's partly because we never had to deal with that sort of thing with our son so it is new parenting territory.

She ignores me (or her father) completely when we ask to stop doing something naughty, she ignores us when we ask her to come here after she has run off, she ignores us when we ask her to stay with us when we are participating in a class of some sort and children are supposed to sit or stand with their parents. If we try to make her do one of these things, she gives an ear-piercing scream.

Right now she is still small enough that I can go and retrieve her and pick up if she has run off and won't return but it will be met with screaming and kicking and as she gets bigger, that gets a lot harder to contain. I now understand why some parents seem to ignore their children in public places or in classes. It is easier to ignore them than try to coerce them into doing something they have no intention of even considering! Yet, I am not convinced that is the right parenting path to take.

There are some who would say, my daughter gets this little bit of her personality from her mother and yes, maybe she does. Part of me likes that she has this side to her. It shows her strong will and her determination, good attributes to have. The other part of me, the parenting part of me, struggles with it though. It makes me feel a bit out of control when she refuses to respond to me in certain situations.

It makes me fear for the future as she gets older and even more independent! I worry that she won't listen when I tell her to be careful of the road or something similar that could result in a real risk of something awful happening. My son rides his scooter a lot and stops at every road without fail. Even though he will zoom off ahead, I have no fear that he will cross the road. He knows to stop and wait for us and he does it every time. I don't see my daughter doing the same when she is older and that scares me a little. Some mothers of girls tell me it's a girl thing, their girls display similar attributes. I wonder... 

I do want to conclude by saying that I love my daughter to pieces and wouldn't want to change any part of her. She is a very loving little girl and always making us laugh. She adores her big brother. I know we should not compare children and everyone is a unique individual, we would not want it any other way. I simply wish I could do a better job of managing her little bursts of impatience and her spirited side.

Do any of your children show a bit of an unruly side to themselves? How do you cope with those times when they choose to ignore your every word? Has it got easier or harder to deal with as they have got older?
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This week: Feeling the heat

My son and a few of his classmates seem to have been suffering from the heat a bit this week. I got a call from nursery today (first time ever) to come and pick him up because he was complaining of a headache and was generally a bit out of sorts and upset. Yesterday they had their sports day in the heat of the full sun, no shade on the sports field and whilst the event was cut down due to the heat, it was nevertheless hot, hard work. One of my son's friends was not present for sports day as he was a bit unwell and got taken to the cool woods instead, as a distraction.

Silly as it sounds, we are just not used to consistent heat in England. We always get the odd hot week or two during the year but this stretch is longer than the usual and shows no sign of abating. I personally am taking care not to complain about the weather. We've spent months moaning about our long winter and now we have the summer we wanted, we should definitely be making the most of it and I am trying to do just that!

However, for children who are not used to dealing with the heat on a regular basis, it can be difficult, tiring and frustrating for them. So, how to keep the little ones cool and comfortable in the hot weather? Here are some ideas:

• Dress them in loose clothing of natural fibres like cotton
• Keep them in the shade as much as possible when outside
• If they are at home, the paddling pool is a great way to keep them cool and entertained
• Freeze bottles of water to take out with you
• Offer plenty of drinks throughout the day; diluted fruit juice or smoothies, drinks with ice and/or straws in them make drinking a bit more fun and therefore help get more fluids into your child 
• An ice-cream or ice-lolly can work wonders to lift the spirits of a hot and bothered child!
• Make meals light and easy to eat
• Cool baths before bed or cool damp flannels over their foreheads/necks during the day
• Keep bedroom blinds or curtains drawn during the day to help their room stay cool

How have your children been coping with the heat? Do you have any other suggestions to add to the list above for helping to keep them cool?
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The art of distraction

I won't bore you with my trials and tribulations over the past week or so. Suffice it to say, two children with chicken pox and tummy bugs has not been a joy but we're getting through it! Whilst at the peak of the illness, there is really nothing an unwell child wants to do, once they get past the worst, they can be kept happy enough if well distracted.

As I have been working hard on the art of distraction recently, I thought I would share some of the things I have been doing to keep my four-year old occupied so he doesn't think too much about (in this case) his bothersome chicken pox. Anything that works for even a few minutes is worth it in my opinion, some of these things can kill a lot of time, some depend on how much time and effort you can be bothered to make.

Television / DVDs - this is obviously the easy option. It can wile away a good bit of time, allow you to take a break or get something done. I am generally not a parent who relies on the TV (my son usually only watches his DVDs for a limited time once a week) but it has its benefits at certain times, can be relaxing for the child (and parent) and is nearly guaranteed to successfully distract!

Books / stories - more labour intensive for the parent but reading stories is good, especially when they are unwell and it can be combined with comforting hugs and snuggling up. An alternative is getting them cosy on the sofa and listening to a story CD.

A new game, toy or activity - I don't mean necessarily new, bought from a shop but bringing out a toy that's been put away that they haven't seen or played with in a long time is a great distraction. My son hadn't had playdough out at home for ages so when I suggested it, he was really happy and got stuck in. You could make up a game, find a household object they are not familiar with and allow them to use it or play with it, anything with novelty value will do the job.

Chat - little ones love to talk. If they are a bit unwell or out of sorts, they may not be as chatty as usual but will love hearing anything you have to say to them. Talking to your child about nice things they have to look forward to (maybe a holiday, birthday party, visit from someone etc), friends and family they enjoy spending time with, plans you may have for later that week, even something random like what you can see out the window will engage them.

Food or drink - not if they are ill in a way that affects what they can eat and drink but especially if it's distraction from tiredness or grumpiness, then very often an appealing snack or drink can fit the bill.

In addition to the above, it's good to remember our own attitude is important. If we tackle the day with cheer and optimism, they will feed off our positivity and it will make for a better day for everyone.

What have I missed? Do you have any tricks up your sleeve for those times when you need to distract your child from discomfort, grumpiness or the like?
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This week: moral dilemma

My daughter came down with chicken pox this week. My older son has not yet had it so we're expecting (and now hoping for) an imminent outbreak, although the doctor told me it's not guaranteed and anyway there can be a two-week incubation period. Right now he's not showing any signs and so I wondered what I was supposed to do about sending him to nursery.

Generally I like to think I am of the view that you should treat others as you would like to be treated. If I'm honest, I wouldn't really like to know someone at school had sent their child in who had a sibling with chicken pox and was therefore likely to pass it on to fellow classmates. On the other hand, I know plenty of parents who wouldn't think twice about sending said child into nursery. Does that mean I should adopt the same attitude?

I decided to call the school and see what their policy or advice was on the matter. After being put on hold for a couple of minutes, I was told that I should continue to send my son to nursery until he has definite signs of chicken pox, when obviously I should then keep him at home and inform the school. The lady I spoke to continued to tell me that it's better they get it now while they are young and they are all going to get it at some point. True, of course.

As it happens, my son is unwell with a funny tummy so he's not going to nursery for that reason. I will take him when he's better (providing still no sign of chicken pox) and will aim to keep my daughter under disguise and at a good distance from the other children when dropping him off! At least one other mother knows about my daughter having chicken pox and I'm pretty sure she'll have mentioned it to at least one other mother. For that reason, I will feel like I'm getting some dirty looks from other mothers who see me drop off my son, knowing that he has a high likelihood of getting chicken pox soon and spreading it to others. Yet, at the same time I checked with the school and have been honest and open about it. It does seem a bit unfair to keep a healthy, happy child at home just as a precaution, especially as when he does get chicken pox, he'll end up missing out on a good few days of nursery.

What would you do? How would you feel about someone in your child's class having a sibling with chicken pox and therefore a higher chance of your own child catching it soon?
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"Mummy tummy"

Diastasis recti, otherwise known as separated abdominal muscles is something that can occur to pregnant or post-partum women. It's when the left and right abdominal muscles get separated, often due to the growing uterus during pregnancy and stretching of the muscles. It can and often does persist long after giving birth. It can mean you're left with a bit of a protruding tummy and depending on how large the separation is, you may suffer from bad back pain and can be more prone to developing a hernia.

I was told I had this after my second pregnancy but initially wasn't given a lot of information on what I could do to try to encourage the muscles back together. Fifteen months later, nothing has changed and I still have a separation. Since starting some pilates classes, I've been given some suggested exercises to do that should help. In extreme cases, especially where back problems are involved, a tummy tuck operation to stitch the muscles back together is the only solution.

I've never been very good at doing exercises every day. I rarely remembered to do my pelvic floor exercises that pregnant women are advised to do many times daily. Yet, as a generally slim female, I hate the little tummy bulge I still have and don't like the idea of having separated muscles. I'm trying to keep that in mind and use it as motivation to do the recommended exercises on a daily basis.

When I read around on a few forums and such like, there aren't many mentions of people successfully getting their muscles back together, but maybe it's only the worse case scenarios that people think are worth sharing. I'll keep at the exercises and hope they work to good effect.

Have you or anyone you know had separated abdominal muscles? Did they eventually go back together?
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Children's bedtimes

Most of us have a pretty good idea of when our children need to be in bed but I am always surprised by how different bedtimes can be amongst the same age children. For example, I have Spanish friends who put their three and four olds to bed around 9pm, more in line with the Mediterranean lifestyle.That's nearly two hours later than our four-year old goes to bed.On the odd night we have done a later bedtime for my son for whatever reason, he hasn't slept the same amount of time - he's woken at the same time as he would with his regular bedtime.

Earlier this week, I read with interest, 'When should your children go to bed?' in the Guardian. It gives a useful breakdown of different ages from one to eighteen and how much sleep a child typically needs. I was quite surprised to read that apparently a six-year old needs the same 12 hours of sleep that a three-year old does.

We've been lucky to have two great sleepers who have never really fought going to bed. My son will even sometimes tell me that he's ready to go to bed! I have always been consistent about bedtimes and bedtime routines and in our case, it has paid off.

Do your children have the amount of sleep that is indicated in the article for their age group? Are they good about going to bed?
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When nap time evolves into quiet time

Before my son gave up his daily nap (some time ago now), I remember reading somewhere about having 'quiet time' as a subsitute. Whilst I thought it sounded like a good idea, I had trouble imagining how it would work in practice. However, when the time came to give up my son's nap, my husband and I introuduced the idea of quiet time as an automatic.

It turns out that it's worked a dream. In the beginning, anything that meant no nap sounded like a fun idea to my son so he took to it happily. Of course, what it consists of depends on you and your own way of doing things. In our house, it means we take some time to do some things by ourself, quietly. We're not strict about the 'quiet' aspect too much. If my son wants to spend his quiet time playing instruments, singing, listening to music, that's fine by us. I guess for us, the important bit is keeping himself happily occupied for a certain amount of time.

Here is a list of typical ways our son spends his quiet time:

• Listening to music or to a story CD
• Lego building
• Playing with a favourite toy of the day
• Drawing / 'writing' / stickers / inkpad and stamps / cutting / sticking
• Pretend music class (singing and playing with a variety of instruments)

Some parents allow their child to watch television during quiet time and that's fine. However, the benefit of not doing TV at quiet time, is I think that it encourages your child's ability to play by themselves and find things to keep themselves busy. Especially when they are going to nursery, playing with other children there and having friends over to play, it's good to nurture their independent play too.

Quiet time used to coincide with my daughter's main nap of the day after lunch. Once my son started attending nursery in the afternoons, we switched to a shorter quiet time in the mornings, again while my daughter had a brief nap. When he starts school in September, it will naturally disappear during the week but I imagine we will keep it up on the weekends. Maybe we are lucky but our son enjoys his quiet time. He knows it's a limited amount of time and he often shuts the door on us and just gets on with it quite contentedly. We always make a point of doing something together right after quiet time as a clear change of pace.

Do you do quiet time? Have you any kind of structure to it? Does your child seem to enjoy it? What do they typically do during quiet time? If your child is still napping, do you imagine you will switch from nap to quiet time when the time comes?
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10 things I wish I'd noted in the baby book

I was given a cute Peter Rabbit Baby Book with my first child and dutifully filled it in when I could find the time. I will admit there are gaps and it's never going to be complete but it has the main things noted. When I had my daughter I bought myself the same baby book to have as a record for her. Again, I've not done a brilliant job of writing stuff down in there but I have the odd evening when I sit down with it for an hour or so and fill in as much as I can.

Since having a second child, I've referred back to my son's baby book several times to remind myself of when he reached certain milestones or did particular things, just to compare with my daughter. Obviously two children are never going to be the same but my two have had similar feeding and sleeping habits for example. Through this process I've come to realise the baby book often doesn't have titbits of information I'd really like. Maybe it's the baby book I have, or maybe these books are too focused on the big things like major developmental milestones. In any case, I've come up with a list of ten things I wish I'd noted in my baby book:

1. When we first tried a bottle
2. When we dropped the night time feeds
3. When we gave up the 10/11pm bottle
4. When we stopped with the bedtime milk
5. First time they shook their head 'no' and 'yes'
6. First five words and when they were uttered (excl. 'mama' & 'dada')
7. When I started using salt in their food
8. First ice-cream
9. Age they moved into their big bed
10. Age they were toilet-trained

As you can see my list concerns things beyond the first year. The baby book only covers the first year. I wish there had been a final page for post-1 year milestones like moving from cot to bed and when they were out of nappies. Of course, I can still go back and note these things in there somewhere but I have to dig out my old diaries and such like to find the dates.

There's also stuff in my list relating to eating and sleeping routines. Things like that are easily forgotten when you're an exhausted mother of a young baby but second time round these was the things I wanted to remember or be able to refer back to.

Then there are things that my daughter does now that I'm not sure if my son ever did. She loves to shake her head, mostly 'no'. If someone random says hello to her, she will in most cases shake her head 'no' at them. I don't think my son ever did that but it would be nice to look back in his baby book to see.

My son's first word was 'bear'. To my great disappointment, I looked in his baby book to see what age he was when he said 'bear' and I hadn't even written it down. Thankfully we've kept a family photo blog online where we put up a video of him saying it so there's a date and record somewhere but again, it would be nice to have everything recorded in the same place. Beyond 'bear', I don't recall what his next few words were and that's a bit of shame. My daughter has now said up to five words, in this order: 'hello', 'no', 'up', 'yes' and 'bird'. I must write those in her baby book!

The first ice-cream seems of interest to me because people always say the second child gets away with a lot more and parents are less strict about things, mostly to avoid battles and meltdowns I suspect. I'm rather proud of the fact that my son was three before he had his first ice-cream but I already doubt I'll be able to say the same of my daughter....

Are there things you wished you'd noted in your child's baby book? Have you ever had moments when you've looked back to check something and been disappointed to find it wasn't there?
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Night time fears of a four-year old

Our four-year old son has been waking in the night fairly frequently of late, coming to tell us about something that has scared him, awoken him and made it difficult for him to get back to sleep. Sometimes, he is visibly upset and crying a bit, other times he just seems a bit puzzled and half-asleep about whatever it was.

To give some examples, there's been general strange noises, feeling something near him on his bed, last night it was flies (which this morning he explained had come in through a hole in the wall in the kitchen and come up to his bedroom). Weirdly, he showed me a hole in the kitchen wall that I had never even noticed before (it's a significant circular hole too).

We're aware that he's at an age now, where his imagination is really developing and it has its advantages and disadvantages. He is going through a stage of loving made-up stories from my husband and I, instead of reading story books before bed. He likes to be involved in the creation of the story we tell, often making suggestions of scenarios, characters and events. It's fascinating to watch and listen to him come up with these ideas.

Yet at the same time, the make-believe world crosses into the real world and it's difficult for a young child to always distinguish between what is imaginary and what is real. Sometimes they may have a vivid dream, sometimes they may have been awoken by something external and then lie there in the dark with their imagination running wild. Books and television can introduce new ideas to their minds that may fuel new fears.

So how does one deal with the night time fears of a four-year old? So far, we have been giving big hugs, listening to what our son has been scared of, tried to offer some reassurance and then suggested a toilet visit before bringing him back to bed. This has generally been working and he has managed to get back to sleep but I have been reading a bit online to get some more ideas.

The overriding piece of advice seems to be to acknowledge your child's fear, whatever it is and not to dismiss it and tell them they are being silly. To your child it feels very real, so you want them to know that you realise they feel scared but then to offer some reassurance.

In some cases, it is easy to provide a solution to the scary situation. It seems quite common for a child to be afraid of the dark. To put them at ease, you can put a night light near their bed, or leave their door open with a landing light on so they are no longer in complete darkness.

Scary monsters are another typical cause of night time fears. Some children may be comforted by a favourite soft toy to cuddle up to in bed. Another suggestion I read that I liked was to make a 'monster spray', consisting of water with a few drops of lavender oil. Spray away any monsters in their bedroom and the lavender will also help calm and relax the child, making it easier for them to go back to sleep.

I'd love to find some good story books that deal with the issue of night time fears, I'll let you know if I find some that I would recommend.

Of course, night time fears are not just for four-year olds! Children as young as three can experience scary night times and older children of all ages too. Have you had to deal with night time fears with your children? What were they and how did you tackle them? Was it something they grew out of fairly quickly or something that would come and go?
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photo credit

My go-to baby balm for soft smooth skin

I'm not one to write about any kind of product and let me start off by saying, I'm not receiving any freebies or perks for the recommendation I am about to write. However, I felt compelled to share something that has really worked wonders on my baby daughter. I didn't know about it or use it four years ago with my son but now it has become my go-to magic potion for any kind of skin issues!

Both my children suffered from cradle cap as young babies and my daughter had quite a severe case. I tried a few products, always trying to stick to the most natural to avoid subjecting her delicate scalp to any harsh chemicals. I was online shopping at Content one day and decided to pick up a tube of Suvana Paw Paw and Honey Balm.

I used some on my daughter's cradle cap and it proved to be very effective in softening and loosening the flaky skin and leaving the underneath skin smooth and soft. Maybe it was coincidence and she was growing out of the cradle cap anyway, but it quickly cleared up. However, every now and then she will get a little bit of cradle cap reappear. I only have to apply a bit of the paw paw and honey balm at bedtime and in the morning her head is clear of it.

I've since tried it on nappy rash and again found it to be very quick in relieving the sore red area. I will also apply it to random dry patches of skin. As we get into colder weather, I think it will be especially useful to have on hand.

I will say it is very sticky stuff. It has honey in the title and is a bit like applying honey! I therefore tend to apply it at night time to any visible areas so that it has a long spell to soak in. By morning there is no sticky residue.

Suvana paw paw and honey balm is made from 100% natural and organic ingredients. It's good value, with only a small amount needed for any application. It's quite a small tube but lasts a long time and is also a handy size for carrying around or travel. If you struggle with treating cradle cap, dry skin, nappy rash or any other skin issue with your child (or yourself of course), I would urge you to give the paw paw and honey balm a try.

What is your go-to product for keeping your child's skin in tip-top condition?
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What every mum needs in her bag

If you're a mum to a young child, you probably carry around a fairly big bag. It most likely contains some of the following: nappies, wipes, spare underwear, spare clothes, lotion / suncream, plasters, toddler snacks, emergency tools of distraction (ie. stickers, crayons).... I for one, hate having to carry so much stuff around.

Pre-children, I would always have small handbags, coordinating with my outfits, carrying the bare minimum and now those bags get an outing once a year if I'm lucky. These days, I rarely switch my bag. I was alternating between two until one of those broke recently so now it really is just the same one, day in, day out. It's big. It has multiple sections. It can hang over both handles of the buggy.

Between my son and daughter being born, there was a brief spell of being back with my smaller bags and not having to really carry things around for my son but then of course when my daughter was born, it was back to carrying more stuff again. I had somehow forgotten until very recently that one good way to organise the contents of your handbag is to keep the baby/toddler stuff in its own bag, in your handbag.

There are several benefits to the bag within a bag:

• It avoids a mass search in your bag for the clean nappy, the spare socks or whatever.
• It keeps the child-related items all together and separate from the other contents of your bag.
• You can take out the smaller bag and keep it in the bottom of your buggy and then carry a smaller handbag.
• If your child is at the age when they like to pull out the contents of your handbag, your bag within your bag will look a lot nicer to strangers than them pulling out a nappy for example. 
• It somehow makes you feel more organised!

The bag you use for your baby/toddler paraphernalia can be as plain or as pretty as you like. I bought a hot pink one recently for the simple reason it is easy to spot and contrasts with the dark brown of the big bag I carry. A roomy toiletry/make-up bag is the sort of size you're after.

For some or maybe most of you, this post will not be groundbreaking reading but in the event you too had forgotten as I had, I wanted to remind you that what every mum needs in her bag is.....another bag!

Do you already keep your child-related items in a separate bag in your handbag? Do you have any other handbag organisational tips to share?
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photo credit

6 places to pick up mummy friends

When I was pregnant with my first child, I didn't have any friends with babies. We moved a month before my son was born to a more family friendly area of London but I didn't know anybody there.

I joined the local mums' group (which I later went on to co-run) and went along to a coffee morning meetup for mums and babies. Maybe unusually, my main circle of mummy friends were all met at that coffee morning. It was a weekly gathering and then as we got to know each other we would meet up elsewhere and our babies grew up together.

Some of those mums moved away but we have kept in touch and still visit every now and then. Our families have grown and it's fun to get all the children together and for the adults to catch up. I still consider some of those people amongst my closest mummy friends.

Now I am the one that moved away and am starting over with finding mummy friends in my new local area. Everyone always says it's easier to meet people when you have children and yes it is, because you know where to find other parents, and children easily provide conversation starters. However, effort is still very much needed and I have been trying to get about to places where I might strike up conversation with some other mums.

Here are 6 places I've come up with to pick up mummy friends:

1. A park or playground
2. Local library: they might have a separate children's library and may run weekly sessions for children and parents
3. Your road: look out for families with similarly aged children , introduce yourself to your neighbours
4. School: as your children get older I guess this becomes your main source of new friends, as your child takes an interest in other children, you invite them over to play and get to know their parents. Also there's always the PTA to get involved in.
5. Children's classes / activities: local music/dance/art/drama classes can be a good way to meet mums and children with similar interests to you and your child
6.  Mums' group: if there is a group for mums in your area, it can certainly be a great way to make mummy friends. They will likely have meetups and events for you to go along to where you can meet others.

What have I missed? Where did you end up meeting most of your mummy friends?
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photo credit

Teachers' Gifts

My son's nursery school finishes for the summer at the end of this week and I've been having a big (probably unnecessary) dilemma about what to give his teachers as an end of term and end of year thank-you.

At Christmas time, one of the mums kindly organised a collection from all the other mums in the class and then got gift vouchers for each of the teachers. She even suggested how much we should donate. It was great, as I had no idea how these things work and she has an older child and was completely au fait with such matters. She has since left the country and this time there has been no discussion amongst the mums of end of term gifts. Some people have gone off on holiday already and so there are less mums around too.

I asked some of my friends for ideas and gift vouchers/cards seem the overiding choice. One friend who herself is a teacher said that vouchers are always nice to receive. A couple of friends had some lovely creative gift suggestions that they had done recently for their child's teachers. One is the apple pictured, wrapped in a clear bag and with a small glass jar containing caramel dipping sauce and walnuts. I've definitely left it too late to do anything like that....

What do you do when it comes to a gift for your child's teacher? Do you tend to give something individually or do you get a collection together with the other mums? What do you typically give?
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