Wednesday, 10 April 2013
Lost for words
fiancé (they'd love to be married but chose paying for a house over paying for a wedding) and after many years together, they decided they'd like to start for a family.
Long story short, they sadly aren't able to conceive naturally and Evelyn is devastated, as you'd expect. Just last week, her fiancé had an operation to see if the IVF route might be a possibility. They are currently awaiting the results but despite the 51% chance of success, she is not optimistic and certainly, she needs to be prepared to meet either eventuality.
Of course, I can not even begin to imagine what she is going through and I really don't know what to say to her when we speak these days. It's a horribly sad situation, someone so desperate to have a baby, someone who would make such a loving parent and yet is thwarted at every turn. All she sees is pregnant people around her on the way to and from work, or friends of hers who have recently become pregnant or those like me who already have children. Why not her?
They'll get the results from the recent operation in the next few days. We're away on holiday from tomorrow so I will probably hear the outcome when we get back. In the event the operation was a success, the IVF route is no guarantee of a baby and can be a long, difficult journey. If it's not a success, that's it for them. There will never be a baby. She's already been crying for days at the thought of it, how will she cope if that's the news they hear?
I want to be a good friend for her, a shoulder to cry on and able to console her but in reality, I'm lost for words. I'd always assumed she'd have children one day and we'd swap parenting notes and laugh about the funny bits of motherhood together.
Do you know anyone who has been in a similar situation to Evelyn? Or maybe you've had a different situation with a friend where you've been lost for words? Any advice or suggestions most welcome!