Tuesday 10 June 2014

Copycat

As early on as she could, my daughter would try to do whatever her big brother was doing. As she has got older, the copying has increased all the more. Everything from wanting to play with whatever he is playing with (often resulting in snatching & fighting over a toy!), pulling the same 'funny' faces, dressing up as a superhero when he does, to repeating something he is saying to us (like a little echo!), wanting to eat the same foods, to draw when he is drawing, to read when he is reading and so on....

On the one hand it is rather endearing. She looks up to him with admiration and awe, which is sweet for a parent to see. She wants to be with him and do whatever he is doing all the time. Again, this is lovely to see the closeness in their relationship, even if it is not always harmonious.

The copying is also beneficial to her own development. She speaks a lot better for her two and a half years than our first born did and sounds older than her years sometimes. Seeing her big brother getting himself dressed in the mornings has meant she has been eager to do the same and she has been very good at putting on her own socks and shoes for some time. It sparks a determination in her to try things that perhaps an only child might not be in such a hurry to master. All pretty positive stuff!

On the other hand however, there are some things she copies that are a little frustrating! Just recently for example, my son decided he no longer likes to eat avocado. My daughter then tells me she also does not like avocado and refuses to eat any. If she and I are eating at lunchtime when my son is at school though, she will happily eat the avocado! This has happened with a few different foods. Likewise, if my son says he doesn't want to go somewhere, she will say the same or if he behaves in an unbecoming way, she will follow his lead and behave similarly. No fun for the parent in these cases!!

I realise at some point there will likely be a switch in her behaviour and far from wanting to do the same, my daughter may well decide she wants to do the complete opposite to my son. Undoubtedly, that will bring with it a whole new set of parenting challenges!

For now, I suppose my aim is to encourage the positive aspects to my daughter's copying and accept that the less endearing side is simply part of children being children and growing up in their own way, as they develop their own personalities.

Do your younger children copy their older siblings and to what effect?
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photo credit

2 comments:

  1. Yes, rest assured that as she grows she will develop her own likes and dislikes. :) My son used to worship his older sister. she would invent amazing games for and with him. they were very close. Then she became a teenager and wanted her own stuff and he had a hard time with it. Be prepared that your son may want his freedom before your daughter does, and then support her in her own choices while he grows more independant. Today my son is 17 and very grounded and resilent. The close closeness between him and his sister hasn't returned but they do care for each other like adults would. It's all in the journey. It sounds as if you are maneuvering the various phases very well. ♥

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    1. Great to have your insight with your children being older than mine and you having seen the closeness and then watched that change as they became older. I'm sure it wasn't easy for your son during that period as your daughter became a teenager and wanted to be more independent. Always new hurdles to come!

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